Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
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we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
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I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.