Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...

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(504): View more from Louisiana

once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight

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(757): View more from Virginia

Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.

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(951): View more from California

you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house

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(513): View more from Ohio

None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.

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