sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
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Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
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It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.