Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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