we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
