she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
