ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize