I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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