If i come over, it means nothing
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
