the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
