I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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