Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
