I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
