Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
