he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
