So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
