Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize