its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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