My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
