I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
