I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize