sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
