I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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