I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I see more hoeing in ur future
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