Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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