just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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