i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
