He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
