oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
