the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
