apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize