today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
