Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
the day after is always just damage control
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
try to milk me bitch
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