can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
