it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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