I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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