he wants to bone in the snuggie
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
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