i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
