bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
