it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
