My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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