At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
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We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
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Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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