How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
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Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
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Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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