I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
