I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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