my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
