ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
