She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
