no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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