I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize