Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
