I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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