he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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