is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
