if i can run in heels then i can drive
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
