And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
