we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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