i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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