you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
