He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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