WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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