my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
