Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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