Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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