We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
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you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
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Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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