32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
